Testing, testing....Welcome to my blog!

Today, I embark on my blogging adventure...

I've never written a blog before. I have, however, been thinking quite a bit lately about my strengths, faults, fears, and dreams - and would like to a place to store and share my transitions. The purpose I hope to achieve by this blog is to discover and isolate some things that just aren't working in my life anymore...and to eliminate them one by one. So, here we go! I welcome feedback, both positive and negative.

This week is law school finals week. Yikes. I just got off the phone with a wonderful woman - a previous graduate of the lawschool and prominent figure in our city...and she gave me phenomenal advice on exam taking. She has great timing.

I am feeling nervous about exams, which is unusual for me. I want to be the best at everything...I want the exams to reflect not only how much I understand the material - but also the desire I have to be a great lawyer, and to implement change. I also know how much of my future is riding on my ability to do well in school. I guess I am just feeling the weight of the burden as a whole. In the same token, I know that I have NOT done everything in my power to secure that outcome...so the question today is why?? I think the answer is fear of failure. If I don't give the task my 100%, and don't do as well as I would like - then I have managed to still have control over that outcome. This unfortunately almost always concretes an outcome that is significantly less than what I am capable of.

I think it is time I look failure in the face and decide what it is - what it looks like - what about it is so frightening to me. These are the questions I am going to start thinking about: If I fail...what is the worst that will happen? How likely is it that I will literally fail?? What is the definition of failure? What does failure mean to me?

So today...I am going to put "Letting go of the fear of failure" as #1 on my things I want to eliminate.